Duduk Manis

Remember I've planned to write 3 pages per day i my previous post? Guess what. I did it! 😁

the story goes like this.
I've planned to meet my lecturer so, I need to prepare things before we meet. However, that morning I cannot find my files and asked my friend. Luckily she had the file with her and i need to get it ASAP. Off I went to her room. Long story short, there's a lot for us to catch up and I start my work at 10 😅 LATE. At school, I went here and there, met few people, chit chat, munch, and one hour later, I sat on my sit. Tapi tu lah. Nak dapat feel tu bukan senang. Nama pun LR. Baca balik, tambah artikel lagi sampailah pukul 2. Kawan-kawan ajak makan pun tak dapat nak join.

Break jap and start balik 2.30. Klimaksnya ialah, dari pukul 2.30 sampai pukul 5 tu, elok pulak boleh fokus and siap 3 pages. wehh, kerja 3 bulan aku yang tertangguh tu aku boleh buat dalam 3 jam je. 😱 walaupun tak perfect, tapiii... uishh!

1, membazirnya 3 bulan aku dok divert n lovehate relationship dengan LR.
2, aku pun tak percaya aku boleh fokus. ni maybe kes rasa terdesak ni. haha
3, tapi dah terlambat sebenarnya. terpaksa cancel jumpa lecturer sebab tak sempat siap whole chapter.

my pillow thought semalam macamni,
dulu sekali belajar je dah terus masuk kepala and boleh score.
makin besar, nak PMR, SPM rasa rajin tu dah kurang tapi still ilmu boleh lekat and excel exam.
masuk uni, real challenge. Berapa kali belajar pun, tak masuk-masuk kepala. Pastu menyesal. Pastu rasa nak quit.

Semalam, rasa lagi teruk sebab, rasa malas nak put effort 😟😟  kenapa dulu sekali buat je dah jadi? kenapa sekarang kena repeat? rasa major loser. i am defeated.

At this point, ada 2 yang aku deduce;

1,  ni quote cikgu sekolah aku dulu n ni memory-based quote. Katanya, "ilmu itu putih. Yang putih takkan lekat dalam hati yang hitam" buang yang hitam dulu, baru putih boleh masuk.
2, memang aku kena usaha lagi. "Dia nak ajar erti struggle ni. Office kat atas tu bukak 24/7. Pergilah buat report." (W, 2019) Biarlah repeat, biarlah lambat. Asalkan aku belajar dari kesilapan.

Duduk Manis is a term introduced to me by W, siginifies bila kita duduk manis je atas kerusi, create mind set, insya Allah boleh fokus writing.